Growing up, and being part of school and programs, travels, events, all on my own, I have found myself thinking a lot about what characteristics of my personality I value and what I would like to change. Further more, I have found myself noticing characteristics I have formed that mirror that of my parents--their influence on me, and what has stayed with me in comparison to what I have formed on my own from my own experiences away from home.
In all my thought process, I have realized I have several personality traits I have inherited from my father that I would more than anything like to change. My father comes from a very religious, conservative, traditional, and controlling family. And his tough upbringing has taken a toll on who he is as a person. Granted he has strayed drastically from the way his family is and considering he was physically and verbally abused and controlled as a child, he has done a lot of self work to be a much more kind and respectful and respectable man. However, he still took his influence and brought me up with his background taking an effect. While I was not physically abused, I was definitely emotionally and verbally abused, and I have been witness to my father's odd mood swings, bursts of anger, and his desperate need to control others. My parent's divorce also made it so that when I lived with my dad, I had only his influence, in a household.
A positive change I would truly like to make would be to work to erase or better my qualities that I have gotten from or learned from my father. I see my mother's shy, gentle nature in myself, but I also see my need or want to control others around me and my inexcusable anger that flares up in reaction to mild things, anger I often have no way to explain. Occasionally I lash out or snap at people or seem off standish with no explanation and then instantly regret it.
I would like to find peace with this part of me that reminds me so much of my father and improve it in order to become a more sympathetic, empathetic, kind, and understanding/accepting human being. -university student
