I realized I was a victim and it wasn't my fault.
I let go of shame, blame, old codependent ways.
I gave myself permission to be
who I am
how I am
where I am.
I practiced not judging.
I tried on self-acceptance.
I allowed myself to just be.
I realized I'm not in charge, don't have to change people, teach them, fix them, lead them.
I relinquished control.
I accepted grace.
I made room in my life for myself.
I beckoned my soul back into my body.
I learned about complex PTSD.
I embraced all aspects of myself.
I realized it was all my own drama
that I could let go of drama and crisis.
I created vivid, wrenching feelings,
I made myself and others feel alive, love, hurt, burn through.
I found who I was
between thoughts
beyond feelings.
I connected to the infinite, universal, source of light energy living
compassion
humanity
cycles of suffering
birth, death
acceptance
love, sex, rape, war,
victim/ego
fear hate
acceptance/belief.
connection.
I made room in my body for myself.
I opened channels unblocked.
I brought myself back into my body through my senses,
inviting pleasure
comfort
touch, solace, healing,
stones, gems, heat, needles, chakras, yoga, music, tastes, luxury, rest, visual art, inspirational pictures.
Challenge feelings.
I realized I was more than my feelings.
I realized I am only in control of myself.
That I can only be responsible to myself for myself with respect.
I let go of teacher/student/leader/disciple follower.
I switched paradigms.
I lost the use of words.
I savored silence.
I saw everything and everyone as perfectly who they are, and were meant to be.
I stopped trying to change others and started practicing changing myself. I hurt, I grieved, I questioned. I felt. I forgave. I hope. I tried. I failed. I learned. I lust. I mastered, surrendered, became.
I started listening, which was huge.
I shut up.
I retreated.
I went into the cave. I realized we're all in our own caves projecting our own stories, characters, puppet show, dramas, guests onto the inner wall. Sometimes we even create it in the reality outside of the cave just to motivate us to feel it, take it to heart, make it seem real, of consequence.
I questioned.
What is reality? A dream, a memory, a life, a river, a drop, a universe, an atom, a self, a soul.
I loved. I felt. I connected.
What makes the difference? Communication, feeling, intention, heart, truth, acceptance, help, compassion, care, accountability, goals, shared experience, growth.
This year I worked and succeeded at accepting, caring, being responsible, loving, celebrating, and fulfilling myself. I am becoming an empowered woman. - adult at a workshop, Florida USA
