.jpeg)
I have a late-stage, terminal cancer. Facing the limitation of my time in the future, I am training my heart to hold me gently in the present, and I find myself glancing more frequently to the past.
When I focus on my heart's memory, I feel swells of gladness and gratitude! Some memories are shards from the distant past, catching just a glimmer of light. Other memories are tapestries rich with detail and intricate patterns--family life roars. Childbirth that opened my heart to a new life (six times!) echoes through the decades with enduring clarity and tenderness. The laughter that comes with true friendship tinkles like wind chimes. My brothers and sisters and sons and friends uphold me. The grace of my faith enfolds and sustains me. How blessed it is to be alive, to have had a real life!
Cancer and its treatments eat away at my being, but not at my becoming. Change is rapid and a tipping point is coming, so now I try each day to be still and remember who I am. What I love. And here's what I find: gratitude is the memory of my heart.
When I focus on my heart's memory, I feel swells of gladness and gratitude! Some memories are shards from the distant past, catching just a glimmer of light. Other memories are tapestries rich with detail and intricate patterns--family life roars. Childbirth that opened my heart to a new life (six times!) echoes through the decades with enduring clarity and tenderness. The laughter that comes with true friendship tinkles like wind chimes. My brothers and sisters and sons and friends uphold me. The grace of my faith enfolds and sustains me. How blessed it is to be alive, to have had a real life!
Cancer and its treatments eat away at my being, but not at my becoming. Change is rapid and a tipping point is coming, so now I try each day to be still and remember who I am. What I love. And here's what I find: gratitude is the memory of my heart.
